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Connect, Quickly. Do this. First impressions, good or bad, quickly snowball, according to a 2006 Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) study. You have to prove you have a lot in common as quickly as possible. Or it will go downhill from there. Move fast: Ask an open-ended question that highlights someone or something in common. ‘How do you know so-and-so?’ or ‘Nice Sharks hat - what do you think of JP Pietersen?’ Not this.Talk her head off. Women want three things out of a first move: confidence, conversation and chemistry. Hit your marks, and then peel off. Depth, not length, builds intimacy.
Make your Friends Hers, Too. Do this. Prove you're not just on the prowl by introducing her to your friends. Circle back to your initial conversation, drop a self-effacing quip, offer a compliment or do all three: ‘This is Carrie. She's amazing. And I think she may still be recovering from my ear-splitting karaoke...’ Northwestern University researchers studying speed-dating behavior found that a woman's sexual and romantic desires are most aroused when your affection is perceived as unique in some way; praising her among your friends does exactly that. Women have a sophisticated intuition for gauging romantic interest. Introducing her to your friends could show her you're not just looking for a one-night stand. Not this. Back her into a corner. Remember that you're confident enough not to deploy the conversational tractor beam - and you're not just looking for a fling. Still, the connection was meaningful, and you'll want to find a way to double back.
Notice her Hidden Talent. Do this. Women are most receptive to praise when it reveals insight into their uncommon personality traits. So tailor a compliment that subtly massages her ego. If she's a natural-born storyteller, say, ‘I could listen to you all night.’ You'll prove you see past her drool-inducing halter top and Wonderbra. Not this. Give weak physical praise. If you must, emphasize superlatives: ‘You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.’
Seduce her Socially. Do this. It takes the right blend of social and situational stimuli to bring a woman's sexual systems online. A woman's inhibitory mechanisms are more controlled by social factors than a man's. At first, cues such as intimacy, trust and safety are more salient for her. Improve your chances by using subtly protective displays of affection, such as guiding her along the pavement with a gentle touch on her lower back or parting the crowd in a packed bar while protecting her behind you. By forming an early, nonsexual connection, you'll warm up her sexual sensors and stave off a potential shutdown later. Not this. Engage in bumping, grinding, groping, humping, thumping or anything else that could end up in a 50 Cent video.
Start the Slow Burn. Do this. Close contact is crucial for a woman's arousal, but there's a difference between orbiting and attacking.
Women in a Kinsey Institute focus group said being treated like a sure thing was their biggest turn-off. So be subtle. Steal up and kiss her neck while she's cooking; plant a long, lingering hello when she comes home from work; or rub her shoulders when she's fresh from the shower. Not this. Overload her arousal sensors. Sneak attacks - in the morning before she's awake, in the lift before she's settled at home - can slam on sexual brakes. Her neurophysiological off switch is much more sensitive and refined.
Awaken her Body. Do this. Women who viewed their own bodies in a mirror before watching erotic scenes became more physically and mentally aroused. Why?
Visualization helps women warm up. Bring her body to life by seducing her in front of a full-length mirror, and then stroke her shoulders, arms and hips as you describe what you like about each part. Not this. Go straight for her pleasure points. The longer you build anticipation, the more pleasure she'll feel once you reach her hot spots. Women in the MIT study found a range of sexual activities at least 25 percent more enticing when they were sexually aroused. Arousal amplifies desire. From considering threesomes to being tied up, people underestimated how attractive they'd find such activities.
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